Holy Cow! Patman is having a baby! We are so excited to officially announce to the world that we are indeed PREGNANT! What a whirlwind of emotion, love, excitement, and joy to know we have a little Bush Baby brewing.
Prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster.
Although our hearts are extremely happy, we still morn the loss of our first. If you are unaware, my wife and I lost our first baby. It was right around the nine week mark when she miscarried. It is in this month that I would have became a Dad. Receiving that call from my wife marked the beginning of one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I wanted to take this opportunity to use this platform to speak out about it, and tell our story. We are extremely blessed that our story ends on a happy note. I understand that others have stories that have not ended in such a positive way, and that hurts my heart.
July 4, 2019 - One of the best days of my life
The day I found out I was going to be a Daddy. So many thoughts and plans were set in place... I was basically picking out their bicycle, baseball bat, and dropping them off to school already in my mind. As the days went on I became more and more in love with that little creature growing strong in my wife's belly. Week after week we would watch the 'What to Expect" videos and see the progress of the little one and the milestones that it was hitting. We even had an early ultrasound and got to see the flash of its little heart beating strong. It was unlike anything in this world that I had ever experienced, true unconditional love for someone I had never met.
Shooting the Video
I had vlogged in the past, and I decided what better way to announce... or warn... the world that there would be a little Bush Baby running around in the near future than to shoot a video? So I started planning and shooting. Bought the dad shoes... knowing that only the best dads roll in the New Balance 624's. (The Cadillac of Chorin' Shoes). Got my self a pair of Jorts, the license plate, and began filming. Shortly after, Disaster struck, and my world was turned upside down when I received the call. I had to put my shoes back on the rack, jean shorts and white socks back in the dresser, and take the license plate off the car and hand MY little baby over to the Doctor (by far the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do). With those actions, my heart was hardened. I knew that miscarriage was a thing, but I think it would ever happen to us, it never even crossed my mind. Little did I know that almost EVERYBODY we would talk to about it either had one (or more) themselves, or could list off half of their family tree that had one. I am a Data and Numbers guy, Why had I never looked into these statics?! 10-25% of all Pregnancies end in miscarriage!
IF YOU HAVE HAD OR JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE BE STRONG! THERE ARE MANY OF US TO TALK TO!
Talking about it is hard, but it helps heal the wound.
New Hope
After the miscarriage, when Kylee first told me she was pregnant, of course I was extremely happy with the news, but my heart was hard. I still had this gut feeling to not get to excited... like I didn't want to put myself back in that situation where I was so excited and found myself having day dreams, visions, and playing out scenes in my mind of throwing a baseball, fixing the car, dropping them off to school... and doing 'Dad Stuff'. It's unbelievable how much you can love and be so emotionally attached to somebody you have never even met. I was emotionally wrecked by the loss of our baby, it was one of the hardest things I think I've ever had to experience. I'm so thankful for my wife, and our families who were there for us and saw us through the hardships of our miscarriage.
However, after we found out the gender of the baby and when we heard his little heartbeat, all of those emotions, thoughts, and dreams I had experienced the first time came rushing back and hit me like a freight train... I'm not a person who shows emotions very often... but I definitely started crying because it made it all 'real' again, that missing piece of me was back in place. I already love that little guy so much and I just cant wait to meet him.
I hope you enjoy our announcement and gender reveal video as much as I do. If you were wondering how I was mowing grass in the middle of winter... You now have your answer. Here's to a lifetime of joy and happiness with our beautiful little baby boy.
Thank you for Taking the time to read my story.
Much Love,
Patrick Bush